It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Written By: Stefanie S.

On passover we ask: Why is this night different from all other nights?

This Rosh Hashanah begged a similar question: Why is this new year different from all other new years?

The non-carb related answer was clear: This year marked my first Rosh Hashanah post J-date.

For me, Rosh Hashanah before the year 5769 was fairly methodical. I always attended a relatively enjoyable service in Union Square, which was not only free, but also geared toward Jews in their mid 20's and 30's (real time Jdate). And afterward, in true Jewish fashion, I walked up 5th to check out the sales.

However, 5770 proved a bit more insightful than the other years. This year I realized that the Holidays are not about excuses as to why we cannot connect (double booked, transportation costs, washing hair), but instead, I learned that they are excuses to connect...or in some cases, reconnect.

You see, I never had Jewish friends growing up, so when my phone/gchat/email /AIM all exploded a few hours before sunset on a random Friday, I knew why.

L'Shana Tova: Here's my excuse to contact you.

Happy and Healthy New Year: Are you still single?

Before 5769, I never received this many well wishes. This was of course before my time on Jdate.

I am still friendly with several of the guys I dated, so it was no surprise when a 'Happy Jewish-ness' text came through from them. However, when my phone lit up with texts from contacts appropriately dubbed: DBAG (name), I chuckled and was quite taken aback at the amount of attention given to these messages--punctuation in place and my name spelled correctly.

Being that the New York metropolitan area is home to the largest number of Jews outside of Israel, I guess there's no better way to try to re-establish a connection that clearly wasn't there in the first place than by sending well wishes on a holiday that only you, me and 12% of the NYC population share. Thanks! I'm visiting my family this year, with my boyfriend. Hope you choke a little bit on your gefilte fish.

I guess it's true, excuses are like assholes---everyone does have them. But in my land of milk and (apples and) honey, I also believe in Karma and it's sweet.

Guys' Guide: Lessons in Lingo

Written By: Stefanie S.

I hear it from my guy friends often: What's her deal? What does it mean when she says....? What does it mean when she.....? Should I text her?

Guys, this one if for you.

Buckle up. Here is the first of many FYIs that will help you determine if she's taking you for a ride, if you'll be going places together or if there's even a chance of getting her into the backseat.

1. She says: "I don't want to hurt you."

She means: You're good for now, but I'm keeping my options open. Wide open.

Sorry, guys. You're the temp. When I have said this to a guy I had been out with him 2-3 times and thought to myself, "You're a good guy, but not exactly what I am looking for. Don't get me wrong, you're nice/I'll keep going out with you/I might even hold your hand in public, but I'm going to hold out and continue to see other people."

By saying this to you, I'm simply clearing my conscience and justifying my actions should I suddenly tell you I don't want to see you anymore/stop responding to your texts. This is your warning that my eyes are open and if we kiss, my mouth will most likely be closed to not lead you on anymore than I already am.

My advice? If a girl says this to you, don't give her the opportunity to hurt you. You don't want a girl who is settling for you. Girls are a dime a dozen. A girlfriend will cost a roll or two of quarters and several trips to the laundromat.